Ah, yes, Denver — the city where you can sip a lavender hard seltzer and apple-flavored whiskey at brunch or buy THC gummies in sixteen flavors — but heaven forbid you, a full-grown adult, try to buy a mint vape. That’s the logic behind Referendum 310.

This measure wants to ban all flavored tobacco products, not just for teens (who are already legally barred), but for every adult in Denver — because apparently, you can vote, pay taxes, and serve in the military… but you can’t handle cherry-flavored nicotine.

And the commercials? Hilarious. They keep rolling out these dramatic ads featuring vending machines and kids buying cigarettes like it’s 1963. What’s next — a reel-to-reel tape warning us about “the dangers of jazz music”? Newsflash: modern retailers scan IDs, track purchases, and get surprise compliance checks. No one’s lighting up in the middle school bathroom thanks to a vending machine.

Let’s talk business. Small, local shops — the ones that actually follow the rules — are going to take the hit. Not Big Tobacco. Not shady online sellers. Your neighborhood vape shop, the one that carded your uncle twice last week, is the one getting crushed. Small business owners — the same ones who’ve survived a pandemic, inflation, and rising rents — are not about to throw it all away for a $15 vape sale to a teenager.

And here comes the cherry on top (pun intended): Denver stands to lose up to $14 million in tax revenue if flavored tobacco is banned. Where’s that money going... to the suburbs. What’s going to make up for the loss in tax revenue...higher taxes? More parking fines? Fewer public services? All so we can say we “did something”?

Here’s a wild idea: enforce the laws we already have, trust adults to make adult choices, and leave the 1960s fear tactics – you know the one where vending machines are readily available – where they belong — in history books and movies.

By voting NO on Referendum 310, you believe that Denver deserves real solutions, not moral theater.